Words are the reflection of my inner self...

Radtke State Park, Wausau, WI

2008-03-23T12:21:00.000+05:30

Lotus Temple, New Delhi

2007-07-12T14:54:00.000+05:30

Water crisis?

2007-07-12T13:52:00.000+05:30

while in the bus...

2007-07-07T14:22:00.000+05:30

Here is what was going on in my mind after i got down from the bus today.

as i rested my hand on the window beside me,
the wind blew in my face, it blew in her hair too,
and just as she let her hair loose,
gently it lapped onto my fingers, making me tingle,
her hair was like the smoothest strand of silk,
her hair was like the softest strand of cotton,
and as she moved her slender fingers through her hair,
the glamorous locks danced and obeyed at the same time,
it fell off her shoulders magnificently,
and bounced in the gushes or air through the window.
and as her hair touched my fingers,
i knew i wanted to touch them too,
i wanted to feel them, i wanted to caress them,
and there they were calling out to me too,
but i could not touch them then,
for i didn’t know if she knew,
how much i wanted to touch her hair,
and how much i wanted to touch her too.
i just wanted to feel her
and i wanted to feel her smile too
i wanted to hold her close to me
and i wanted to hold her forever too
i wanted to tell her what she meant to me
and i wanted her to remember for ever too,
for she was as magnificent a woman that God could make,
and she was the best of them all too.

Telecom tower, Empire State Building

2007-04-03T01:11:00.000+05:30

Snow in my palms

2007-01-20T03:14:00.000+05:30

Just the other day...

2006-11-30T12:00:00.000+05:30

Just the other day, I made a new friend,
whatever she does, she is setting up a new trend,
everything we speak, she seems to comprehend,
as much as possible, I wish we have time to spend,
I hope she understand, this is not meant to offend,
only good friendship is what I intend,
here and there, there may be a loose end,
but I know, on each other, we can depend!

2006-10-20T16:16:00.000+05:30

The Wonder called 'D'

2006-10-17T23:19:00.000+05:30

She carries the fragrance of love with her where ever she goes,
If I could, then everyday I would gift her a rose,
Her smile is lovely, and so are her toes,
Her hair is smooth, and brightly her face glows,
She moves with elegance, and mischeiviously the wind around her just blows,
She is surely the prettiest, I dont want to suppose,
Against her beauty, even the daintiest flower bows,
I am lucky, for I as a friend, she chose,
The marvel that she is, cant fit into one prose,
The lengths of her innocense, God only knows!

Elephant Rock at Panchgani

2006-07-01T12:50:00.000+05:30

Monsoon's in...!

2006-07-01T12:48:00.000+05:30

okay, thats me!

2006-04-29T12:13:00.000+05:30

The fiery skies.....

2006-04-22T13:48:00.000+05:30

Aint she pretty?

2006-04-22T13:45:00.000+05:30

The most basic building blocks...

2006-04-22T13:43:00.000+05:30

The Dancing Queen....

2006-02-08T14:33:00.000+05:30

There she was, partly covered by her blanket, wholly by my love. She was sleeping like a child, one that has no worries in life. In her sleep, I could still see her smile. The smile never lost her face. It was always there, just like my heart always beats, for her.
I rose from my bed, and glanced at the watch. 6 AM. It was still early. I got out of bed silently, because I knew she needed sleep. I walked to the sofa just opposite my bed and plonked upon it. I saw her twitch in her dream, and she was asleep again. I could not believe myself. I was with one of the most beautiful women on earth, and she loved being with me. This was one of the happiest feelings in my life, and I guess it will remain that way forever.
Lisa was a super model, and an excellent dancer. Her perfect body moved so naturally to music, it was tough to find her competition. Her long, slender legs just knew how to find their place. I have never seen a better dancer than her before, and coupled with her beauty, it was a mind-blowing combination!
Last night at Qba, Lisa was the object of attention for everybody. Qba is second home to Lisa and me. Mixed with RnB, Hip Hop and Salsa, Qba is the place to be if you want to just live the moment to it fullest. But last night was different, Lisa met me after one whole year, and I could say she was delighted. She danced like she had never danced before. Four hours non-stop, she was on fire!!
We came home at four in the morning. After a quick shower together, we dropped off to sleep. It was tough to go to sleep with her in my arms, but I held on to myself. I knew we both needed to sleep, and I mean sleep!
She clung on to me as if holding on to dear life. But I was going nowhere. I wanted to be there, right beside her all my life. I wanted her to be the happiest woman on earth, and I was prepared to do anything on earth for that. I gently blew her hair off her face and I saw her charming eyes, the loveliest there can ever be. And I saw the mischievous smile play on her lips. We both knew we could not stay away from each other. We hugged and hugged again. I did not let go. I took her face in my palms and kissed her moist lips. This was one kiss I will remember all my life. I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder. I kissed her to tell her I loved her, and that I would love her all my life. I felt she understood this, for she kissed me equally passionately and our lips fell in love with each other. Only pure love can make you feel this way. Infatuation just dies out in a short while, love keeps you alive. And we both knew it was love.
She moved her fingers through my hair and caressed my ears. She loved my chest, but before she could prove it, I held her close to me and whispered into her ear, “I think we should catch some sleep. Tomorrow is a big day for us. It’s my first major photo shoot with models. This is the break I have been waiting for, and I want it to work for us. Let’s sleep, honey…..”
“Don’t get too close to the girls!” she said naughtily. I laughed and blew her a kiss. She loved to tease me. She knew the girls liked me. She also knew that I liked her. And she never dodged any chance to pull a fast one on me. But we both were destined to stay together, nothing could come between us.
I met Lisa three years back at a photo-shoot event. I was an assistant photographer then, and was looking at taking subsidiary shots, after the primary photographers had finished with the main ones. I still remember the day. Lisa and Rhea, two of the loveliest models, donned in fantastic pearl jewellery, just waiting to be clicked. Aslan, our chief photographer, was just getting ready with the cameras. The location was a coral island off Thailand. The models were supposed to sit on some low rocks where the color of the pearls matched the colorful shallow corals. And then the moment came. Lisa was just about to step on a rock to climb onto a bigger one. She was in a white gown, and wore blue pearls. She was looking magnificent. Pearls would never have looked better on anyone else. I was standing close to where she was. But from what I wore, I knew she would not have even noticed me. I was in a white t shirt, beige shorts, a cap and shoes. I was wading in the knee deep water towards her to check the reflectors. There was one big reflector on her right, and was responsible for the majority of the light for the picture. Just as I moved towards it, I saw something from the corner of my eye. Lisa had just tripped and was going to fall into the water. I don’t know what happened then, but I moved at lighting fast speed. I held out my hand and managed to grab her just in time. There she was, the most adorable woman I had seen, in my arms. She was shocked from what had happened. She could not believe what had happened. Nor did anyone else, including me. But there I was, holding on to the most gorgeous models. I steadied her on the rock, and let go. But I could not stop looking at her. And I saw that she was looking at me too. She sensed I was lost, and she smiled. And I managed a smile too. And then I heard the most innocent voice say, “Thank you. If you would not have been here today, the theme of today’s shoot would have changed to ‘Wet Pearls’...”. Everyone laughed, and I smiled. I managed to mumble, “I am glad you are all right.”
Aslan came running over, and immediately asked Lisa, “Are you okay, dear?” Lisa smiled and said, “Yes, thanks to this handsome guy here, I am all right. I still don’t know his name.” I felt I was blushing. All though I made sure no one noticed it, I was really blushing. I looked up to her and said, “Hecktor, Hecktor George.”
That day, after the shoot, one of the lightsmen came up to me and said Lisa wanted to see me. I went up to her van and knocked. No one answered. I knocked again, but there was no reply. I started to turn back, when the door opened. And Lisa stood inside, smiling back at me. She had changed. In her white T shirt and blue denims, she looked like the cute college kid that any guy would kill for. I stepped in, and shook her hand. “Thanks again, Hecktor.” These words made me blush again, and my lips moved to form a curve that we can call a smile. We started talking, about each other, about our lives, interests, and many more things. We talked, talked and talked more. The more I saw her smile, the more deep-rooted she got into my mind. Everything about her was perfect. Her hair, her teeth, her nose, her hands, and well, everything else. I got my guts together and managed to ask her, “Lisa, can you join be for a cup of coffee?” “Of course Hector!” she replied with one of her best smiles. I knew this was the first step. There were many more to come, but the hardest journeys begin with a single step. I was prepared. So was she.
After that day, we met at least thrice a week. We managed to speak to each other everyday. The difficult times were when one of us was traveling. The most difficult part was saying goodbye. Lisa always cried when we parted. And I hated traveling for this. But sometimes you have to do the things you have to do.
I am now a photographer with a leading fashion house. Lisa is still the top model, and most of the guys are still looking for chances, but now there is no room in Lisa’s heart for anyone else.

I went to the kitchen and started boiling eggs for breakfast. I tried to be as silent as I could. But just as I was about to open the fridge, I heard a sound. I turned to see Lisa in the doorway. She was wearing my shirt. Her hair falling sexily on her shoulders and a few loose strands on her face. She leaned against the doorway, inviting as ever. I smiled. “Good morning honey”, I said. “You look damn cute in your boxers” she replied, with that mischievous smile. I laughed and smiled at the same time. She walked up to me and threw her arms around my neck. I held her from her waist and pulled her close to me. Our lips met once more, and this time it was too hard to resist. My eyes closed, but before that I saw her shirt drop to the floor.

We managed to get out of bed again only by 9 AM. She was still hesitant to let go, but she had to. She knew I had to leave. By the time I showered, she had set the breakfast table. Perfectly boiled eggs, perfect pancakes, perfect juice and the perfect lady beside me, my day had begun just perfect.

Lisa kissed me before I left. She whispered in my ear, “I love you honey. I think you are a charmer. I am not sure about the future, but I know that I am lucky to have you in my life.” “I think I am the one who is lucky. And I want to be this lucky all my life. With you beside me, I think I can take on everything else.” I replied. She pecked my cheek and wished me luck. I gave her a light kiss and played with a loose strand on hair that was dancing across her face. Her lovely eyes and her childish smile made me the happiest man on earth at that moment. Never can I thank God enough for bringing this marvel into my life. “Lisa, I will always love you.” I said and left.

Just before the Sun sets.....

2006-01-16T17:54:00.000+05:30

A differently blue sky.....

2006-01-15T19:02:00.000+05:30

Welcoming the new year..

2006-01-13T20:39:00.000+05:30

Me and my object of affection....

2006-01-13T20:37:00.000+05:30

Every sunrise has a sunset

2006-01-13T18:58:00.000+05:30

Rainfall outside my window

2006-01-10T15:19:00.000+05:30

I am..... The Undertaker!

2006-01-04T18:39:00.000+05:30

Oh what a feeling it can be, to be surrounded by people and still feel alone. To have your friends around you, or your so-called friends around you all the time. And give others the false impression that you are all together, when actually they are all together, and I am all alone. I don’t know how I got into this place. I don’t know why I feel out of place. I only know that while everyone has someone else with them, I have only empty spaces for company. The best moments, the laughter, the smiles, all fake. Nothing is real, except for the truth. And the truth is, there is no one else.

I see them, but I just see through them. They smile when we all are together, but never at me. They smile among themselves, but I am a stranger then. They crack jokes, and also laugh. I laugh too, but I am non-existent for them. For them, I just exist, I don’t live.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever come out of this loneliness, this slow poison that’s killing me. I cannot live alone; I cannot live with people who don’t love me, who don’t care for me. I don’t like false smiles, I don’t like plastic feelings. I don’t like double standards, I don’t like fakes. I don’t know if their relationships are for the moment, for I feel they are together only till when they need each other. I can’t think that way. When I make friends, I make them friends for life. I don’t know people because I need them; I need people because I know them.

They care about each other. They call each other and speak to each other, often smiling. And there I am, being with myself. And I feel neglected, I feel ignored. I feel left out. And I have nowhere to go; I am stuck with them, bound to them till a point in time. I hope I reach that point soon, because I want to separate out. I want to feel real happiness once again. I want to hug my real friends once again. I want to see them smile; I want to see the twinkle in their eyes again.

I am sure the day will come soon. When, I do not know. All I can do is hope.

2005-08-16T22:08:00.000+05:30

Public bath of the ancient era!

2005-08-16T22:05:00.000+05:30

dont know when they caught me..but here I am!

One day in love...

2005-03-11T17:47:00.000+05:30

"I love you"
I heard the words as a silent whisper. Again , and this time, they convey lots of emotion, strength, care and concern. I opened my eyes. Its pitch dark all around. I glanced around to locate the table clock. The digital timepiece said 3:45 AM. I realized I was dreaming. Dreaming of her. Like all the time. Sometimes with open eyes, sometimes in deep sleep. Sometimes alone, sometimes with the entire world around. I know, I love her too.

I lay on my bed again and tried to sleep. But I kept hearing those words. They have been fixed in my memory for ever. I still remember everything that happened that evening. Its one of the most memorable evenings I have ever had. And everything I think about that evening, fresh love and yearning takes birth. Love that can never be completely expressed. Love that can never be compared. Love that can never be measured. But I am sure, its the purest, deepest and strongest love that one can ever have for another.

It was a pleasant Saturday afternoon when I called her on her mobile phone. The phone shrieked three times before she silenced it. I gathered that she was obviously busy, otherwise I would have heard her melodious voice, "Hello?". She speaks like an angel, like a lovely flower that has just blossomed at dawn. Like a silver spring flowing out of tall rocks. She speaks better than anyone can ever speak. I put my phone back into my pocket and gazed at the sky. The clouds were smiling back at me, asking me to try again. I got the message. I got my phone out and dialed her number. This time, after two rings, she picked up her phone. But before I could say anything, she said, “Honeybun, I am in a meeting. I shall speak to you in half an hour. Is anything urgent, sweetheart?”. I closed my eyes. I could hear myself say “Its ok honey, I am waiting”. She hung up. But I knew she did not want to. I knew she wanted to speak with me. But like everyone else, we are caught up in our own professional lives, and it becomes difficult to live two important lives at the same time.

I finished my coffee and strode out of the café. I saw the streets were relatively empty today. Less of traffic, less honking. I managed to cross the street without waiting. My hands were dug deep into the pockets of my blue denims. My smart white shirt bounced off the soft sunshine in the most magnificent way possible. I just caught a glimpse of myself in a street shop window and smiled. I was looking good, definitely good. I knew she shared the same thought.

My car was parked in the office parking lot, a ten minute walk from my favorite café. I usually visit the café every time I get the chance. Not for the coffee but for the elating view of the seaside that it gives when I am at my favorite table, next to the biggest window of the café, just close to the rear wall. The beige walls of the café gel superbly with the dark brown furniture. The fresh coffee beans in the bowl on the table give the aroma of the world’s best coffee. I can sit here for hours at a stretch and not move at all. But today, I was out in less than ten minutes. I had expected to speak to her.

I tossed a coin to the beggar on the pavement, as I always did. The old man smiled. I smiled back and walked past him. Just when I strode past him, my phone rang. I stopped walking. I took the phone out of my jacket pocket. The number on the caller id made my smile. I pressed green and said “Hi sweetie!”. She smiled. I knew she was showing her perfect teeth and perfect lips. She had the perfect smile. I told her I wanted her to meet me today. She said she was getting free by 4 PM and I could pick her up from office. By this time, I was leaning against the lamppost. A beautiful girl walked past and glanced sideways, smiling at me. I managed a smile and came back to our conversation. I told her I would be there by 4 and we hung up. But not before she said, “Don’t” look at other women the way you look at me.” She knew she did not want a reply to this remark. I did not disappoint her.

I saw my watch. 2:30 PM. Ninety more minutes. I reached my car. My car was a dream. A 2001 model red Corvette. No scratches, no bumps. I handled her with extreme caution when in traffic. On the freeway, she was a wild horse. I guess thats why I loved the freeways. She would catch up 100 miles an hour in less than 8 seconds. The eight cylinders under the bonnet were powerful enough to take me up to 200 miles an hour, but I had never tried that. Patience pays, I always told myself. And of course, every time I put my foot on the gas pedal, I heard her voice, “Darling, you are going to reach no faster than what God has decided. There is no point in driving fast. Please be careful, I love you.”

I got into my car and turned the key. The engine purred to life. The fuel gauge said 90 gallons. Enough for three days at least. I swerved out of the parking lot. John waved me past from the security window. John Ray was a security guard at the firm for eight months now. Tall, well built and muscular, John was a soft person at heart and at tongue. When he spoke, it was hard to imagine that the soft voice was coming from the 300lb John Ray.

I put on the radio. A young lady was crooning with a live band. Country music. My favourite. I could listen to country music for as much as it played. I guess I am not a city man at all. The country keeps calling me back. Maybe someday I might go back to those handsome fields, those calm lakes. Maybe.

I checked my watch. 2:45 AM. Time was passing slower than I expected. I headed straight for the MegaMall. The mall had just come up, after a millionaire bought the dying casino by the beach and transformed it into a 5-storey shopper’s heaven. I knew I had to guy her a gift. But before that, I called the florist and asked him to keep the best possible collection of orchids ready. She loved orchids and I adored the child like look on her face when ever I gave her flowers. Flowers to a flower. I smiled to myself for being such a love lost romantic.

I was stopped by the valet near the gate. He offered to park my car, but I did not want anyone else to handle this beauty. I denied. He gave me a parking spot number and said that the reservation was on the second floor. I drove into the elevator and pressed “2”. The elevator started with a hum. This was one of a kind parking space in the entire city. Four storeys of parking space, with three large elevators enough to accommodate three cars at a time. Three fire escape routes to move out the cars in an emergency. Ten thousand square feet of parking space. And all this was just one tenth of the entire shopping mall. With more than two thousand boutiques, salons and food courts, this place was a small city in itself. Indeed, they meant it when they said “No matter what you want to buy, we have it!”.

I found the parking space assigned to me and parked gracefully. The machine stopped and then went dead with one turn of my key. I locked the doors, set the safety alarms and started walking towards the gates leading to the shopping arena. The attendant greeted me warmly and handed me a map of the mini-city. Quickly, a smartly dressed woman approached me. She was wearing a pink skirt upto her knees and a white graceful top. She wore a sweet smile and her shoulder length hair was tied behind her head. Her lipstick was pink, but it suited her beautifully. The same shade on any other lady would have made me look away. But it suited her fine. She asked me if I was looking for anything in particular. She have me one of her loveliest smiles when she heard jewelry. I guess the word has magic in it for women. Mention it and they are another world. Linda, as her tag mentioned, ushered me into the jewelry section located on the third floor. She introduced me to Mary.

Mary was a short white woman with sharp features. Perfectly done hair, lips, eye-brows, eye-lashes. White skirt stopping three inches above her knees and a maroon top with a V neckline. A string of pearls around her neck and matching earrings. White shoes. I was not sure what I wanted, and Mary knew just what I should buy. She took me to the Diamonds section. The room looked like a grand ballroom. Grand chandeliers, expensive carpets, tall ceilings. 2 cm thick glass boxes with polished pieces of carbon, shining away to glory. Rich women trying out everything they could. Attendants showing one stone after another. And price tags that tore the sky. I wonder if their men knew where their add-on credit cards were being used. I guess a successful man is one who can earn more than his woman can spend.

Mary saw me studying the place and quickly asked me if I had a budget for the purchase. When I shook my head, she looked at me, as if thinking of the perfect product. She then asked me to wait and went over to a counter where all the rich women were drooling over shiny objects. She returned seconds later with two velvet boxes. Then she asked me, “Is she fairer then me?” I smiled and shook my head. I don’t know if that made her happy, but I noticed a different flavor in her smile once I said those words. Strange ways in which women think. We both returned to the boxes she brought along. She opened one of them and turned it towards me. In it was a gold chain with a golden pendant, shaped like two hearts connected in the centre. At the points where the two hearts met, were placed two glittering diamonds, one in each heart. It was good, but I wondered if She would like it. I looked up at Mary and smiled. “Do you like it sir?” she asked. I nodded without a smile. But Mary was used to male customers shopping alone I guess. She promptly opened up the other box. Neatly placed inside it was a fine necklace made up of pearls with two earrings, each having three pearls connected by white gold. It looked good. I instantly thought of her. I remember the last time I gave her a pendant, she had tears in her eyes. I asked Mary to pack this one is the best way she could. She smiled warmly and took my credit card. She directed me towards a waiting lounge and left to complete the payment process.

I had barely settled in the sofa when a waiter materialized out of nowhere. He had all drinks possible in the try he was carrying. Beer, Vodka, Wine, Champagne. I shook my head and said “Thank you”. He smiled politely and disappeared as fast as he had come. Mary was processing the payment and saw me waiting. She smiled when she saw that I noticed her. Mary would be in her early twenties I guess. And I knew all the girls in my area who were in their early twenties. How is it that I did not know Mary? Probably she might have just shifted here, after getting the job. But that no longer mattered. Jenny was on my mind. And she was here to stay, forever.

Mary returned with the box, exquisitely wrapped in soft muslin cloth and tied with a satin ribbon. A dozen fresh roses accompanied the box. I hesitated. Roses don’t go with orchids. I thanked Mary and have her the roses with a smile. She blushed, took the roses and smiled even more. I knew it was time to leave. Jenny’s office was a good twenty minute drive. I looked at my watch. 3:35 PM. Definitely time to leave.

I almost jogged to my car. In less than five minutes, I was on the highway again. A slight wind was blowing. The sky was clear with a cloud here or there. Scanty traffic, soft music, clear sky, great day. I stopped at the florist. Julie recognized my car and came with a basket of orchids, very artistically arranged. “Say Hello to Jenny!” she said and gave me the basket. Julie was in her early fifties. Single mom, she took care of her two teen-aged daughters who were studying law at the University. I usually paid Julie at the end of every month by check, for two reasons. One, I wanted her to come to my office, just a five minute walk from her shop and have coffee with me. Two, she had lost a son when he was very young. Although I had never known him, she once told me that I reminded her of him. I bought flowers from her every week, and sometimes more than once a week. She met Jenny once and told me that she had not seen a woman prettier than her.

When I was barely five minutes from her office, my phone rang. Jenny. She always spoke before I said anything. “Where are you, lovey?” Check your heart” I replied. She smiled and said, “I am almost done. When are you reaching?”
”Less than five minutes.”
”Ok darling”, she said and hung up.
She did not usually talk a lot when used her office number. Prying telephone operators, she explained later.

I parked opposite the Virginia Grand Plaza, home to Virginia Financials. Jenny Fernandes was the CFO, Chief Financial Officer here since the last three years. Having spent ten years here, she knew every inch of the 32,000 square feet complex. I had been inside only on two occasions. And both the times, I had to wait for atleast 20 minutes before I could meet her. So we had decided. We would meet outside her office, away from all the daily dose of financial data, telephone calls, appointments, faxes and of course, nosy secretaries.

Within minutes, I saw a lovely lady get out of the building. Black trousers, black shoes, light blue top, curly hair upto her shoulders, black sunglasses, leather briefcase in one hand and her mobile phone in another, she was making her way down the twenty eight steps that connected the Plaza to the street. Heads turned while she walked and I knew that if she stayed here for more time, there would be a traffic jam. I started the car and made a U-turn. I approached her and stopped. She came close to the door, opened it gently and slid inside. Not a word. She nodded and we took off. When we had crossed the Marine Deck Plaza, about 10 minutes from her office, she asked me to stop for a minute. I was surprised, but did as she told. The instant I parked, she moved from her seat, took my face in her palms and her lips met mine.

I took her in my arms and felt her soft body against mine. She looked at me, smiled naughtily and kissed me again. This time I felt she did not want to stop. Nor did I. Then the storm finally subsided and our lips parted. She fell back into her seat, but her right hand did not leave my shoulder. Well, the extra hours at the gym paid off, I felt. Jenny, the woman of my dreams, the lady who rules my heart.
”How was your day?” I asked.
”Not bad, and infact it just got better!”, she replied. I loved the way we both played Tango with words. She was the perfect match I could ever think of. Large, soft eyes, teasing curly hair, amazing body, a voice like honey and the smile of an angel.
She saw the orchids and instantly smiled. Taking the basket in her lap, she put her phone and bag on the rear seat. She let out a breath and started playing with the flowers. I did not want to break the peace. I did not want her to stop. I knew she was feeling good about meeting me. And I knew that she likes taking her own time. I knew that by now. Finally, she looked at me and saw me looking at her, as always.

”There is something for you. But I want you to guess what it could be. Can you?”
”Is it something to wear?”
”Yes” I replied, my eyes constantly locked with hers.
”Hmm..let me think. You don’t know my size, so it cant be lingerie. You don’t know my finger size, so it cant be a ring. You don’t like shopping for clothes. You are not particularly fond or perfume too. Did you get me a necklace? Or earrings?”

I flushed. Virginia surely has a very good CFO. A lady with a brain that works. How did she know?
”Both” I replied.
She eyes wide open, she help her hand on her open mouth, eyes moist instantly. She could not believe what had happened. I took the box from the rear seat and handed it to her. She pulled the ribbon and the cloth fell open, revealing the velvet box. She looked at me with amazement and excitement. I smiled back and asked her to go on. “Open the box, cupcake.” She smiled like a child who receives a birthday gift from her only friend. She opened the box and saw what was inside. Large tears welled up in her eyes. She closed the box and threw hers arms around me. I put my hands around her and gave her a soft hug. “Take me home please” she said.

I started the car and we headed towards home. We both enjoyed having dinner at home. She did not approve of crowds. She also did not approve of the women who eyed me when we went out. I, for that matter, had no problems with any of these reasons. But I wanted her to know to that she was special to me. We always ordered food at home. As I lived alone in a single storey house, it was always convenient to have dinner, chat, watch a little bit of TV, dance a little and then I would drop her off at home. She lived with her aunt. But I knew little of her past. I did not bother. What I was concerned with was her present and her future with me.

We reached home and I parked the car in the garage. Through a door that led directly from the garage to the kitchen, we entered the house and into the front room. She kept her bag and her gift on the centre table and sat next to me on the sofa. I asked her about the gift.

”You are a charmer, my sweetheart” was her reply.

I winked and she smiled. I could do anything for her smile. She held my hand in hers and rested her head on my shoulder. There were so many occasions where she had not given me a chance to speak, but today was different. I guess a woman prefers to hear sometimes. So I spoke. I told her about my half day at work, issues with a cousin down south, my articles in the newspaper, an award nomination and many other things. She was the best listener I could have ever asked for. Listening is an art, and she was born with it. A good listener always put the speaker in a very comfortable position, acknowledging him at the right time and at times, adding what they could, but never anything more than what is required. Eye-content is very important while listening because some people, me included, like to see someone in the eye when speaking. She knew this and was always careful never to disappoint me. To the best of my memory, she had never disappointed me.

She spoke of her day. She was a good talker too. She said everything she wanted and never gave details beyond necessary. Her twinkling eyes spoke with her and she used gestures to describe everything she could. She always keeps her audience awake and even though she speaks most of the time, she makes it seem like a conversation rather than a lecture. Gifted is what I can say she is.

Just then, her phone rang. We broke out of the tiny spell that love cast upon us. She saw the number and frowned. It was the director from Virginia Financials. Samuel Jefferson was a man she detested, but had to work with. She went to the window and spoke for ten long minutes while I stood by her side, holding her hand. But I knew something was not well. After what seemed like ages, she hung up. Her face hung up too. She looked at me with sad eyes and said “I have to go to office, right now. There is a meeting scheduled in half an hour and I cannot avoid it. Samuel asked me where I was and sent a car for me immediately. I cannot stay here long and will have to leave as soon as the car arrives. I am so sorry my darling.” I held her hands and looked into her warm eyes. I saw the sadness in her eyes and how much she wanted to stay. But then, whats the excitement if everything goes as planned!

She fondly wore the necklace and earrings and looked at me. She looked like a princess. “Next week-end I am taking a holiday from work. We will go some place when I cannot be contacted. I just want you next to me and no one else. Can we go?”
”Absolutely” I assured her.
She smiled back. She gave me a short kiss and a warm hug. We cuddled up on the sofa while she whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I felt I was in the best place on earth.

"Jenny, you are the woman that I cannot live without. You know that. And I want you to know that you are in the cosiest corner of my heart. My heart beats for you. You are the loveliest woman that there can ever be. I cannot thank God enough for giving me you. And I will always cherish this gift. Please stay with me forever. And I will be with you always. Whenever you pray, remember that I pray for you too. Whenever you are sad, remember that I am with you. Whenever you are happy, remember that I am smiling at you. Your love gives me the strength me do everything I want to do. You are the biggest moving force that I have. This force always pushes me ahead and gives me that extra rush of energy that I need to move ahead. Without you I would be a candle in the wind. I need the sheath of your love. Please be mine. I love you more than I can ever say. And even if I tell you my entire life that I love you, I feel I would not have said enough. “

I lifted her off her feet and held her in my arms. She put her arms around my neck and bent forward and kissed me. This was the warmest and cosiest kiss we ever had.
”I am in the fluffiest of clouds. I feel I am flying. And I have the wings of your love. I will always be yours. I love you.”

I put her back on her feet, but not away from me. We heard a car pull up in the driveway. On the bonnet of the Mercedes was a bug “V”. Recognizing it as Jenny’s car, we moved towards the car. When I opened the door, the chauffeur was waiting.

”Martin from Virginia Financials. Mr Samuel has asked me to pick up Ms. Jenny. He said he apologizes for the abrupt change in plans. Will you please come with me? “
Jenny nodded and said she would join him in a minute. Politely, Martin went back to car and waited for her.

She looked at me and smiled and said, “Thank you darling, I had a lovely evening. Although it was short, it was nothing less than the best. I will call you soon. Take care honeybun. I will miss you.”

And she left. and I standing in the doorway, waited till she turned and winked and teased me before entering the car. With a final bye, she got in the car. Martin closed the door and took his seat. Off she went, the woman of my dreams, the love of my life.

I went back to the house and sat on the sofa. I closed my eyes and prayed, “Lord, I love her and she loves me too. Please give us whats best for us. Amen.”

2004-11-21T20:27:00.000+05:30

dont miss the shadow and the crow ;)

2004-11-21T20:18:00.000+05:30

British Architecture, opposite VT railway station in Mumbai. one of the Municipality office with amazing details. Another marvellous example of lovely construction.

2004-11-21T20:14:00.000+05:30

never been clicked!

2004-11-21T20:12:00.000+05:30

Me and Harbhajan Singh of the Indian Cricket Team!

2004-09-22T10:53:00.000+05:30

Dark skies over a Government building with the Tricolor flying away. The BSE can be seen in the background.

2004-09-22T10:51:00.000+05:30

THe corner of an old building in Mumbai City. The entire building is built with magnificent design and is awesome to look at. The building currently is the Institute of Science, Colaba.

2004-09-21T17:12:00.000+05:30

The Gateway of India, one of the most marvellous works of Art in Mumbai.

Friendship across the seven seas

2004-09-16T10:40:00.000+05:30

Many people have heard about this, read about this and spoken about it too. Today I am joining the class of people who have written about it. Today I am writing about my friendship with someone whom I have not met yet in person, but yet share a special relationship. The bond of friendship that strengthens everyday!

I met her some time back on the internet when she approached me to help her out with one project in her education program. I did what I could and slowly we started speaking more and more and more. All over the internet. Almost a twelve hour time difference meant that we always spoke when she was in light and I was in darkness. I would be doing my work of research and study in the night while she would be on her job. But still we both managed to speak.

Steadily I got to know her better. I saw her photographs. I saw her innocence. I saw her attitude to life. She was a free soul, but one who had to struggle, like most victorious people. She knows the value of the education she has, she knows the value of the job she has got. She knows the price you pay by staying away from parents. She knows how to grow up staying alone. She knows.

She has got a heart as light as air. She is easy to speak to. She is frank in her words. She smiles most of the time. She loves movies and jokes. She can spend all her time watching movies. She loves to travel too. She in enjoying life, obviously at many costs, but she is happy and I am happy for her.

She stays in the west but she still keeps her eastern traditions with her. She prays, she respects others, she celebrates Indian festivals and she misses her parents and friends. I am sure her parents and friends miss her too.

My eyes welled up one day (she doesn’t know of this yet) while talking to her. We celebrate Diwali (one of the most famous Indian festivals) with a lot of activity, prayers and excitement. But over there, across the seven seas, the picture is a bit different. People are more in their own world and they probably don’t even realize that one of the most widely celebrated Indian festivals is going on. She said she just prayed to a silver coin that her mom had given her. I suddenly felt a knot in my stomach. I realized how lucky I was to just enjoy myself in Diwali. I understood the price she pays by staying away from friends and family. I understood sacrifice can take people places. But you just need to adapt to life. I truly admire her for this aspect.

Not many people can mould themselves so easily. But then they are the ones who succeed. And I am sure she is one of them. She is sure to touch the sky. I am just waiting for the day. Hope it comes by soon.

Here’s wishing her all the very best in life. There is usually a story of struggle behind every story of success. I have seen her story of struggle. Now I want to see her story of success. I am sure it’s round the corner; just want her corner to come across soon!

2004-07-29T10:21:00.000+05:30

Wanted to see the sun, but could not do it directly...so crawled behind a leafy shelter and captured the moment!

Freelance writing, anyone?

2004-07-23T17:44:00.000+05:30

I admit, i want to become a freelance writer soon and get my book published.
but like many other budding to-be-super-authors like me, i am looking for tips to help me make it big.

found a valuable resource here.

thanks a lot, Shai, everyone owes you thanks for this one!

2004-07-23T17:06:00.000+05:30

....before the heat gets to me, let me cool off a little!

2004-07-22T17:54:00.000+05:30

Eater-pot!

2004-07-21T19:28:00.000+05:30

............and we thought trains were always on time!

2004-07-20T10:47:00.000+05:30

Two beautiful creations....one by man, the other by God!

2004-07-19T14:37:00.000+05:30

You dont have to be in the limelight to shine...if you are worth it, you will be noticed, no matter where you are.

2004-07-16T10:43:00.000+05:30

Hibiscus...

drank too much I think!

2004-07-15T10:34:00.000+05:30

Sometimes we see nothing in something...sometimes we see something in nothing...!!

2004-07-14T11:02:00.000+05:30

ever wondered what these clouds mean? why they take up different shapes?
and how each cloud is different, i have never seen two identical clouds ever. what is it that they portray?

i have never been able to figure that out. most of the times i see that a cloud closely resembles something i have seen elsewhere. like a human silhoutte, a shape familiar to me like a peek through my garden window. when ever i see something i have known, i break into a smile and keep staring at it to find more similarities. Is this God's way of telling us that life is a collection of happy moments and that we have to find the happiness embedded in his many creations.

the flow in which these majestic clouds move over places makes me want to be inside one of them and go with them, wherever they go. on top of everyone, i will be able to see what everyone is doing, how people are smiling back down when i wave to them from the clouds. that day i will surely be on cloud no. 9!

when you touch a cloud, you hand just passes through it and comes back with nothing but the essence of life, water. and thats how it is, no matter what we do, we have to accept that all the wonderful things in the world are basically evolved from the five basic elements of nature. and no matter how far we may go to duplicate them, the heart will find its absolute happiness when it is amongst the most natural surroundings.

i have never seen a face in the clouds yet. i have heard people speak about it though. maybe God uses clouds to allow people in heaven to see their loved ones on earth. and sometimes they peep out of the clouds and people manage to see them. i have yet to see such a phenomenon. are the Gods listening?

2004-07-13T12:00:00.000+05:30

Sometimes beauty passes by us and we dont even notice.
I was lucky i caught this lovely collection of petals and captured it.
Dont want to miss any more pretty things now...!

2004-07-12T18:36:00.000+05:30

feeling lonely now...

2004-07-08T14:22:00.000+05:30

recent

Is this life?

2004-06-10T13:05:00.000+05:30

just recently i heard someone describe an ad on TV. the ad showed a small boy watching television. there was a documentary that showed a long queue of village folk waiting near a dry tap. everyone was eagerly awaiting the tap to start flowing. it was obvious that they were suffering due to water shortage and if anything could make their life better, it was water. the little boy turned around and saw his dad shaving in the bathroom. the tap in the basin was running full force. the boy ran up to the tap and turned it off. when he returned to his room, he saw that the people on television were happy, water had started pouring from the tap. there were big smiles across everyone's faces. it was such a happy feeling.

maybe the ad was a simple water conservation program. but it surely did its job. i started putting the tap off when i shaved, brushed my teeth. i started saving as much water as i could. if i knew i was going to drink only half a glass of water, i would fill only half a glass of water. i started asking guests how much water they would want and gave them exactly that much. they were impressed and started following the practice themselves. i saw that a small ad made such a big impact on me and my actions in turn made an impact on others.

it set me thinking, was i just waiting for an ad to start saving water? am i so lost in my life that i forget the basic things that i need to take care of? do i give things ample thought? am i being just to my friends, family and loved ones? i told myself that i needed to be more aware of the world around me. i started analyzing things more than i did before. i realized i was going far from my family just to come close to some temporary riches. i saw that i was not doing the things that i should be doing. i was straying away from my duties as an individual. i was running away from my responsibilities as a member of the society. is this what we call life?

all this starts a battle in my mind. i am caught up between whats right, whats wrong and whats my viewpoint. i fail to find the correct answer yet, i still keep thinking. maybe i will stumble on the best answer and accept it as the right one soon. i hope the day comes soon when life becomes organized. when people think about others also apart from themselves. the world will surely become a better place to live in.

who are you?

2004-03-25T11:03:00.000+05:30

as i move ahead on the road to glory, i see many things around me. happy faces that share my joy, participative faces that make me feel i am not alone, sad faces caught up in a world of their own, dreamy faces lost in their thoughts. everybody has a purpose in life, but i dont know how many are being able to fulfill it.

many of them dont know their purpose in life. they have not awakened to the guiding principle of their inner God, leading them to the tallest heights in life. they are just living like driftwood, going with the stream not aware of what may come ahead. they dont have a vision of life. and even if they have, its blurred. there are no goals, no aims, no objectives. its a life that they just live, rather they just exist. they are unaware of their existance. only believing to take instantaneous decisions. i pray for them.

some of the rest are bitten by the practicality bug. they just follow strict rules in life. not following a rule is a sin to them. they dont realize that their life is linked to lives of others. they just feel that they are right. and what they do is never wrong. they are very rigid and 'compromise' does not exist in their dictionary.

a few belive in the power of miracles. the endless possibilities that life has to offer. the vast horizons that one can traverse. they belive that they can reach the stars. they believe that there are no limits. they know how to follow their dreams, they know how to trust themselves, others and God. they know that life is a journey, not a destination. they are led by the power within. they are self-motivated. they drive themselves and others to glory. they also know that life is a combination of roles, where everyone has to play their part. no one can move ahead alone. they recognise others in their lives. they know the importance of their loved ones. they know how to love, and they know how is it to be loved in return. they are closest to their loved ones, and in turn closest to God.

inevitable change

2004-03-12T11:52:00.000+05:30

and they say you have to learn form life. well, life teaches you everyday, so many new things, so many new traits, so many new facts, so many experiences. you dont have to keep your eyes and ears open, you just be awake and you will learn. no effort needed, life makes it compulsary. you need to better yourself form every yesterday that passes. carefully sort out things and give it rational thought. and you will realise hoqw things work, how minds function, how things fall in place and out of place.

its so natural to become emotional, and turn yourself into a dumb fool. no one is here to take care of you. everyone has their own objectives. you need to work your way up the ladder yourself. dont wait for spoon-feeding. thats not going to happen. if someone is feeding you, they are eyeing something out of it. the pure-hearted are eyeing the satisfacion and the wicked are eyeing your trust in them. its up to you to recognise your allies and foes. blind trust is a thing of the past.

sometimes when you realize that you have been on the receiving side of all the worries in the world, you have no one else to blame, but yourself. its you who has allowed this to happen. no one can make you feel good or bad without your permission. you decide your life. you have the power of choice. your future depends on your past and present. everything that shines is not gold. its time you learnt this lesson. everyone claims to know this, but forgets this when its needed practically.

life always moves on, you have to move with it. you cant afford to be left behind. capitalise on the need of the day and mould yourself to adjust to the present. adapt yourself quickly. there is nothing constant except change. and there is nothing more intriguing than adapting to change. the one who realizes this will never fail. faith can move mountains, keep the faith!

met God today

2004-03-05T14:24:00.000+05:30

Meet God Here

the transition

2004-03-04T18:03:00.000+05:30

i have finally made the choice. i have crossed the bank and jumped over to the other side. from here, i can see lush green grass, swaying daisies and trotting horses. i can feel the freshness in the air, the aroma of peace. i can experience the joy of making the right choice and the satisfaction that makes my heart praise myself.

i have growing, every moment. i am turning into a better human being every instant. i am moving ahead every time i breathe. i am coming closer to my dreams, my visions of myself. the jigsaw puzzles are finally falling into place.

i was too confused, maybe because i was biased. now i feel i am lighter, happier, better, proud of myself. what i gained today was what i was eyeing since a long time. and it fell into my lap today, elevating me to a different level, a higher floor. i am now taller than i was before. i am climbing up, moving on, and making myself capable of handling everything that may come.

this journey is always going to continue. i am always going to keep moving. because no one can stop the man who knows where he is going.

the peculiar morning

2004-03-03T10:56:00.000+05:30

today is a wonderful day. the sky is bright and clear, and i can feel the gentle breeze against my face. i can hear the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. i see familiar faces all around, all smiling, all happy. i see small children with their mothers on their way to school. i see elders taking their scheduled walk in the garden. i see students off to college. how is it i did not notice any of this before?

life is undergoing a change, i feel. i am becoming sensitive to my surroundings then before. anything that happens around me catches my attention quickly. i find myself thinking about every small change that takes place near me. and the thought process does not leave me soon. it keeps revolving in my head. oh what is this? how did i start feeling this way? what caused this?

i find myself swaying in the wind. i feel thoughts shooting into my head. i see visions of the future or maybe the past. i see myself, happy and content, smiling and satisfied. i see my family, my loved ones around me. i see my parents, proud of me. i see my friends beaming on me. what is all this? is this the truth? am i dreaming? is this really possible? i dont know the answer to all these questions. all i know is, everything happens in its time.

history repeats itself, but not time. once gone, time never returns. its something thats designed for the moment. all we can have is memories. and that is the most valuable treasure that one can have. i have already started buiding up my treasure. everyday of my life is adding to my pile of treasures, the priceless collection that i will always have with me. i have no fear of losing it anyday, no matter what may come.

in hope i lay my dreams. cemented with confidence and trust, they are taking shape. that day is not far when i reach my goal. and that day, i can look up to God and tell him, "not a leaf moves without your permission, not a wind blows without your approval, all i am today is because of you, Thank you for all that you have given me. i will always remain indebted to you."

Cloud no. 9

2004-03-02T17:32:00.000+05:30

Number 9..

Clue number one was when U knocked me on my door
Clue number 2 was that look that U wore
& that was when I knew that it was a pretty good sign
That something was goin' on wrong up on cloud number 9

Well it's along way up & we won't come back 2night
Well, it maybe wrong but baby it sure feels right
Oh yeah &..

The moon is out & the stars are bright
& whatever comes gonna be alright
Coz 2night U will be mine, up on cloud number 9
& there ain't no place that I'd rather be
& we can't go back but U're here with me
Yeah the weather is really fine, up on cloud number 9

Now he hurt U&U hurt me
& that wasn't the way it was supposed 2 be
So baby 2night let's leave the world behind
& spend sometime up on cloud number 9

Number 9..

We won't come back 2night

-due regards to Bryan Adams, thanks for this amazing song.

amazing world

2004-03-02T12:01:00.000+05:30

was pleased with myself today morning. woke up with a fresh feeling and was feeling on cloud no. 9.
yesterday evening was really good, patched up with my sweetheart. i felt i had lost her, but she was going nowhere. keeps coming back to me, no matter where i go. her smile can change everything on earth. no matter what mood i am in, the moment she smiles, i feel i am in heaven. she is my elixir of life.
life seems to be incomplete without her and she is incomplete without me. if there is a time when i can feel its paradise on earth, its now. the twinkle in her eye is enough to illuminate my world and her rosy lips are enough to add all the color in my existence.
when we are together its like sugar in milk, salt in water.
she is ultimate and her love is the loveliest.

mixed feelings

2004-03-01T16:40:00.000+05:30

that she loves me is as pure as the purest gold. and that i love her is as true as the sun.
what is not convincing is that fact that love always brings happiness. there has not been a single day where there is no negative emotion linked to her name in my thoughts. no matter how earthly, humble or understanding i am, she is in her own world, thinking of her involvement in her activities and daily life. the distance between us is ever increasing and i dont see the day far when we both wont see each other.

life is not right. things are not what they seem to be. this is all a mirage. and it breaks down in front of you when you need it the most. its just a dream, and dreams always break when you wake up. they dont last long. life is this way. a life of expectations is a one full of sorrow. the happiest man on earth is the one with no expectations. and there is no man without expectations.

this just means that there is no happy man existing, and if he says he is happy, he is lying. he is lying to himself and to others, trying to hide the basic truth of life. life is not what you think it is. its something more, you and I can never get life in its entirety. all we have to do is pretend. and the one who can pretend well, can live peacefully. i hope.