mixed feelings

that she loves me is as pure as the purest gold. and that i love her is as true as the sun.
what is not convincing is that fact that love always brings happiness. there has not been a single day where there is no negative emotion linked to her name in my thoughts. no matter how earthly, humble or understanding i am, she is in her own world, thinking of her involvement in her activities and daily life. the distance between us is ever increasing and i dont see the day far when we both wont see each other.

life is not right. things are not what they seem to be. this is all a mirage. and it breaks down in front of you when you need it the most. its just a dream, and dreams always break when you wake up. they dont last long. life is this way. a life of expectations is a one full of sorrow. the happiest man on earth is the one with no expectations. and there is no man without expectations.

this just means that there is no happy man existing, and if he says he is happy, he is lying. he is lying to himself and to others, trying to hide the basic truth of life. life is not what you think it is. its something more, you and I can never get life in its entirety. all we have to do is pretend. and the one who can pretend well, can live peacefully. i hope.